When it comes to habits, mine have always been for the most part, self-sabotaging or habits that don’t really serve me well in the long run.
Breaking those habits, trying to form new, sustainable and hopefully more healthy (both physically and mentally) habits is often an anxiety inducing experience.
However, if I really want to push forward and attempt to change my life path for the better, to create a fulfilling writing career for myself, one that brings me a sense of purpose and pride then I have push pass those crippling anxieties and ignore the intrusive doubts that seek to undermine my growth.
CHANGE IS HARD.
I’ve heard it said a thousand, a hundred thousand, a million and more times before but never has it struck me as hard as those times when I’ve unsuccesfully attempted to change my patterns of behaviour.
So often I will plan out a more healthy and positive routine for myself – typically my attempts to stick to the routine I’ve created for myself last no longer than a day or two.
Why? You might ask…
Well, initially, when I would set forth in creating a routine for myself that would hopefully, miraculously somehow transform me into a different version of myself, I would create the routine imagining a perfect version of myself, a version of me that didn’t get ill when that time of the month decided to show itself, or never had to deal the complete sense of apathy that I all too often struggle with.
I would create the routine, the schedule of tasks for a version of me when I’m at my best, when I’m operating at the highest capacity that I can manage.
In a nutshell: I’d created an unrealistic schedule that i wouldn’t be able to sustain in the long run and instead of creating a plan where I’m performing at my best, I need to plan for when I’m at my worst, for my current lifestyle and the season of life that I find myself in and not the one that I wish that I could have.
At least, that’s what I’ve been learning from Sarra Cannon’s HB90 program and her Heart Breathings YouTube channel. For those unfamiliar with the program, the HB90 method is a productivity program created by Sarra Cannon that aims to help people (not just writers because the Hearties community welcomes all), set and achieve their goals over a 90-day period, the program does this by taking you through a process of evaluating your time, energy, goals and narrowing down on your priorities.
If you’re interested in hearing more about the program, I highly suggest going to Sarra’s Heart Breathings YouTube channel or signing up for the next round of HB90 which should be coming up towards the end of March 2026.
As for me and what I’ve learned through this process.
When it comes to forging a sustainable routine, task completion and organization I’ve learned a lot about myself and what does and does not work for me and some things I’m still in the process of learning…
For instance, I’ve learned that when it comes to task completion, I have to break the tasks down into smaller bite sized chunks and only have a few tasks on my block for the day, otherwise, I have a tendency to become overwhelmed and I enter freeze mode where I retreat from working and allow myself to sink into the pages of a book instead of completing the tasks I’ve set for myself.
Three of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned from this productivity mindset so far:
I need to be kinder to myself.
I need to talk and treat myself how I would a friend (or how I wish to be treated by a friend.)
You’d never tell a friend that you thought they were a failure or pathetic, or at least, I wouldn’t.
So why do I let these hurtful, intrusive thoughts dominate my mindset?
Honestly, I don’t know when the negative mindset of ‘I’m lazy, I’m a failure, a disappointment, etc’ set in, but I know that these limiting beliefs have derailed my attempts to change again and again and step one of trying to combat the self-sabotaging thoughts is by saying nice things about myself, by treating myself as kindly as I wish others treated me (and each other.)
The second biggest lesson that I’ve learned is to keep my master list of tasks in a separate room (see above), because if it’s in my line of sight, I can easily become overwhelmed and it’s much, much easier to slip into freeze frame mode.
The third, and potentially, most upsetting lesson that I’ve learned and the habit that is proving the most difficult to wean myself away from is reading of a morning…
Let me rephrase that.
If I start off the morning by reading a book, and not just any book, but a fiction book that I am moderately entertained by, then it’s all but guaranteed that I am doing nothing else for the rest of the day other than reading.
One day of reading usually turns into two, which turns into a week, then two weeks and before I know it, months have passed while I’ve been immersed in stories that others have created instead of focusing on writing the stories that I have carried around in my heart and mind for countless years.
So what’s the plan, you might ask, for breaking the bad habits and combating the anxiety to forge a new, healthy routine.
Huh…well…hhmm.
I think this post has been long enough so I’m just going to have to get back to you on that.
Much love and happy reading, writing or whatever you’re doing.
Cheers,
Kit.
Kit's Corner of Chaos 